Awakening Tips

Park at The Top

Dear Blessed One,

After taking a brief sabbatical from writing the monthly Awakening Tips, I’m feeling guided to share the recent shift and lessons I’ve experienced.

Many of you know I was on an extended journey in my RV. I planned to travel and work on the road for six months, keeping awareness keen as I journeyed, wondering if another area might call to me as a new home.

The trip was filled with work, friends, laughter, sadness, surprises, wild weather and expansion.

The work was abundant, rich, deep and productive. I have a wellspring of gratitude for the opportunity to meet and work with so many amazing beings!

Connecting, sharing and laughing with friends was balm to the soggy self as the rain seemed never-ending and the news of two friends and of a client’s passing pierced my heart.

And I learned a deeper lesson about listening and responding to inner guidance, which assisted in a smooth transition home months later.

I was traveling up to Cupertino, CA from SoCal and had been driving for many hours. It was late and raining as I drove the RV up the long-winding driveway. Internally I heard a whisper, “Park at the top.” Immediately I brushed it aside saying, ‘that’s ridiculous, I know how to park here, the cars are probably plugged in at the top, the levelers are already out, everything I need is here, I know how to do it here and I’m tired.’

I parked as I have always done so in the past. The next morning I’d completely forgotten the gentle guidance I received the night before. Days later as the stormy weather continued, a tree fell on my RV just seconds before my entering it – it could’ve been me. A $7000 lesson (it was covered) in listening, no matter how tired I am, is what I received – not to mention the big hit to the new RV.

After getting the RV back from repair, I continued following the ever-unfolding journey to see where life called me next.

In San Diego, I began to wonder if my new title might be the rain-witch…it seemed to follow me no matter where I went and no matter how much sunshine was present before my arrival. The torrential rain kept me in the RV (the metal cave) for many days at a time. I knew something was percolating and I was curious what might be coming. And then came the expansion experiences…

I began having experiences of no-boundary between me and other. Lying on the massage table or bed, I couldn’t feel where I ended and the table or bed began, “I” had no end or edge. And I experienced amusement as people talked with me, pretending to be “other” when it was all just Me talking with mySelf.

I had brief experiences like this prior to the kundalini and embodied awakening in 2008. Those experiences faded as I found my way in a new world, where nothing on the outside had changed and the way I related to everything had.

I felt wobbly in this new experience and wondered how I might maneuver in a state like this. I was curious while in eye-contact conversation with people if they could see through my eyes how strange it was talking to myself and pretending to be “other”.

Like with all of life’s undulations, I was present with it, breathed through the wobbliness and was able to function relatively well as the intensity of the experiences came and went. I did take some downtime (as guided) to allow space for the frequency shift, not knowing at all what was ultimately going to happen.

The most intense part of the experiences lasted for two months. Recently I’m feeling more grounded in the shift and better adjusted to the softening of the seeming boundaries between me and that.

And finally, I was ready to go home… I had someone subletting my space for the full six months. I made a comment to a friend that it would be nice if the sublet found her long-term home and my space opened up before the six months mark. She did and it did.

I headed for home once she cleared out and after a few inner tugs to reschedule something down south (park at the top!) many pieces fell into place allowing me to stay home rather than travel again in two weeks to complete commitments (and as an added bonus, I saved $100s by listening).

What is your inner guidance telling you? What do you know deep within that you feel called to do, yet fear holds you hostage? How often do you override the knowingness and then say, “I knew it!”? Breathe into the fear. Tell the mind you’ll be okay. Stay in the moment and just do the next thing.

Life is gently showing us the way home. Bumps and potholes are there to guide us back to center. Honor it all.

When questioning your inner wisdom, remember, “Park at the top.”

Much Love and Blessings to You,
shellee rae

“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls.”
~ Joseph Campbell

It’s All About Love

Dear Blessed One,

I have experienced that no matter what is happening in life, if I pause, take one deep conscious breath and drop into my being, there is always an essence of love that is holding it. Disengaging from the mental realm is the key to feeling the heart.

Our experiences do not have to be biased by the environment around us. It’s okay to feel the love that holds it all, to relax and enjoy the ride, even the painful, sad, or less exciting journeys.

Mind evaluates, judges, or longs for something else. Life doesn’t Mind. When all labels about experience fall away, it then becomes just another experience (albeit potentially less preferred) and suffering is not a component. When not consumed by suffering we can listen from a deeper place, follow wisdom and respond to life rather than react.

Completion, joy, awakening – – these things can only be found within you and in the moment. As long as you’re looking elsewhere, you won’t find it, not the real thing anyway. You may experience temporary completion or joy but as soon as the environment changes (loss of that which brought you joy, etc.) so does the connection to these experiences.

There’s a song called, “It’s All About Love” that I have sung with friends many times. The lyrics say things like: might not understand it but it’s all about love… no matter what we think we are, it’s all about love… great big mystery… no matter what we want, it’s all about love, it’s all about love, it’s all about love…

I’m not one who is very tuned into holidays (most of them don’t make sense to me) and didn’t realize last year that the focus of February’s Awakening Tips was all about love. As I was creating youtube videos of the Awakening Tips, I reread that one. In the light of February’s love focus, it bears repeating.

(Click I LOVE YOU, MAN! to view the video)

In the Marianne Williamson quote, the word God could be replaced with the word Love, which points to That which holds all experiences. “God exists in eternity. The only point where eternity meets time is in the present.” I’ll meet you there.

(more about the transition I’m in at a later date – still percolating)

Much Love and Blessings to You,
shellee rae

“And the real goal is to come to the source from where you come. Then the circle is complete.”
~ Rajneesh

The Greater the Shake

Dear Blessed One,

You know that person who did all the things you did (or less) and ‘made it’ while you’re still struggling?

All the things around you that show how you don’t measure up are there to beat what measuring up means out of you. It’s a program and it’s not yours. What if you let it dissolve and step into not knowing exactly how or what you could be right now? Let your feelings bleed it out of you. Feel what’s getting activated and watch as the foundation of conditioned mind begins to crumble.

The inner pressure you’re feeling is helping you find your way to center, to your authentic self, to the one who has access to your bliss. That part of you is waiting to be seen, to be born into the world, and to run wild in its creative essence.

All the yeah buts are distractions of the mind and linger there to keep you off track, out of stillness and in the old familiar story.

I once heard Kyle Cease say that many people are analogous to Michael Jordan with amnesia. We all have great gifts but are caught in a small story of survival. What if Michael Jordan had amnesia and got a job at McDonalds. You walk in and are astonished to see him. You then remind him that he’s Michael Jordan, a famous basketball player and he says, “Yeah, nice dream but I have to make a living.” You tell him again that he’s Michael Jordan, a great basketball legend! He says, “Yes, that sounds like fun but I’ve got bills to pay, would you like fries with that?”

The programs, habits of the past, other people’s ideas of how life should look, keep you from experiencing the joyous, exquisite, organic being that you are. Let the challenges chip away at the foundation that no longer supports you. That is their purpose.

We all have different journeys to get to where we’re going. Honor yours, it’s perfect for you. Life gives us challenges to shake us awake. The greater the shake, the greater the wake.

Perhaps that person who has ‘made it’ is part of your shake. If you’re having a reaction to it, I’d be willing to bet that it is. By the way, just because it looks good on the outside, doesn’t mean it’s a dream come true for the one in it. Comparing your life experiences to what you see as other people’s life experience is another sneaky ego tactic.

Everything that life presents us is a gift that may not yet be completely unwrapped. Watch how the mind wants to draw conclusions before all the results are in.

Sit silently and watch as stories arise, telling you why you can’t do what your heart is whispering. Lean into the heart’s version of you and feel all the fears arise as you no longer listen to the mind’s excuses that keep you trapped in the old version of you.

Life may be telling you to leave the job at McDonalds and to get on the basketball court. It may sound crazy, it may be scary and it may not look good on paper, however, it may be the next big step in trusting life.

You don’t get to see the results before the move of trust. That would defeat the purpose of letting go of the idea that you are in control of your life. Life is in control of life.

Be your wild, free, and magnificent self. That’s what life wants.

Much Love and Blessings to You,
shellee rae

“See that the whole existence is celebrating. These trees are not serious, these birds are not serious. The rivers and the oceans are wild, and everywhere there is fun, everywhere there is joy and delight. Watch existence, listen to the existence and become part of it.”
~ Osho

Can I Die?

Dear Blessed One,

Okay, I know it seems like a silly question…
To the limited human perspective.

Many people who work with me have been asking various questions about dying.
Some of the queries are…
– What happens when we leave our bodies?
– Is it possible that I need more lives to reach enlightenment?
– What if I die before awakening?
– Can I die?

I’ve talked a bit about parallel realities and it is through infinite parallel realities that we have the sense of movement. There is much to say about this (perhaps I’ll go into more detail about this in my next book).

Most people have been through something in their life where they wondered how it was possible that they survived (auto accidents, falls from high places, disease, etc.). Often what happens is that we don’t survive in that particular reality (or what I call the dream-stream). We shift to (usually) the next closest parallel reality (a slightly different vibration from the one previously in) so that it seems coherent to the reality we remember.

This generally happens because we haven’t completed what we came to experience and desire/attachment throws us into another dream-stream. Because we exist in infinite parallel realities, all vibrating at different frequencies, we have access to them simply by shifting our frequency.

The constant shifting we do from one reality to the next in every millisecond to create the experience of movement is most of the time done unconsciously – or automatically, like you are not consciously tuned into beating your heart.

Becoming aware of the nature of reality (no time or space – literally), it’s all here now, we can gain access to other vibrational realities.

One way to do this is to bring awareness into the heart. Breathe and be still. In stillness, set the intention to experience a new reality, one that feels good to your being. Don’t expect to pop out of your meditation and land in a million-dollar home with your soulmate. Rather, set the intention to experience the vibrational reality where the conditions are in place for you to meet a compatible partner, or to shift to the reality where your lifestyle brings abundance, etc.

The vibrational reality you shift to has to do with your vibrational resonance, which has to do with how you feeeel, think and act. The more conscious we become of our vibration, the more malleable the dream-stream (if it’s relevant to you).

So, what happens when we leave our bodies? We leave this version of our bodies over and over as we are constantly shifting out of this reality and into the next and the next… Do we need more lives? We are infinite and so is life. You’ve had innumerable lives in this one experience of you. What if I die before awakening? Shift, shift, shift until what you’ve come to experience is completed. Your higher essence knows the moves. Not to worry… infinite parallel realities means infinite opportunities to awaken. Can I die? Nope. You are life and life is eternal.

I have awakened from the dream of death numerous times and did not understand what happened… like a glitch in the matrix. I was here, then gone, and then here again with no memory of how I got back here. I’ve also had many vibrational experiences during an oops, this might be the end and miraculously am on the other side of the situation unscathed.

You may want to reread the A-Tips One-Split-Second and Parallel Realities.

Whatever you have come to experience in this dream-stream, you are experiencing it. How might you honor the life you’re experiencing while checking your periphery to see if there’s room for another movement?

Be still, breathe, become aware of the thoughts you are thinking/believing and then begin the journey into the heart. The heart is where we change our frequency.

Much Love and Blessings to You,
shellee rae

“When you are aligned with the truth of who you truly are, then you experience bliss.”
~ Vivian Amis

There Never Was An I

Dear Blessed One,

For years, a friend has been telling me how proud he is of me for finally getting sober in 1997. He has said how impressed he is by my strength and willpower to get sober and to stay sober after 27 years of alcohol and drugs. And for years now, I keep telling him that I didn’t do it.

Looking back, I can see there was never an I here doing anything. It was all (and still is) a divine unfolding, an amazing flowering in every moment. There was a character that I thought was me (thought being the key word here) and the identification with that personality was strong.

The false self had gathered many beliefs from the past (which created the persona) and it thought there were many things to do in life to meet the expectations of whomever or whatever it happened to be involved with (work, partner, family, etc) to be normal or at least okay.

And then the personality, the one who thought it was in charge, began to dissolve. It was challenging and scary as all the things I believed were true began falling away. It’s as if I were given x-ray vision and suddenly began seeing right through the beliefs.

Who am I if not that? What do I believe if not that? Shouldn’t I believe something?

During the stripping away of who I thought I was and what I thought was true, it felt like I was dying (and at times I just wished I could). It was all so confusing!

On the other side of the death of the conditioned one arose a beautiful free being in awe of life (even the pain). It took a long time for me to get my land legs in this amorphous state and there were many bumps that I had to hit to jostle loose remaining debris from my field (past wounds, etc.).

I can’t think of anything more precious or valuable than the state of open awareness, consciousness in recognition of itself in form.

If you’re wondering what’s next in your awakening process, life will present it. Just remember, it’s all about you. Everything that is presented to you is for your personal growth and expansion. Honor it all. Say yes to all the gifts, especially the most difficult ones. Those are the ones that will produce the biggest blessings.

If the caterpillar knew what it was about to face, we would have no butterflies.

Allow the chrysalis stage. I’ve seen so many get to this stage of awakening and then go on antidepressants, which can delay or stop the process. Listen to the wisdom of your heart.

Let the false-self die. Freedom comes when identification with the illusory self dissolves.

Life is being done through you. Examine the gifts before you. What is life offering you in each moment, in every situation? As in ‘my getting sober’, there never was an I doing anything.

Realizing that you are not all the things you think you are, becoming lucid in the dream, reveals the playground of the divine, the One.

Much Love and Blessings to You,
shellee rae

“When a caterpillar bursts from its cocoon and discovers it has wings, it does not sit idly, hoping to one day turn back. It flies.”
~ Kelseyleigh Reber

Let It All Go

Dear Blessed One,

Going with the flow of life is easy when the mind is at rest.

Notice when the mind has preferences and screams NO at something. See if you can just watch. What is life presenting to you? What is life wanting you to know more deeply about you in this moment? What might life be creating for you in this moment that the mind cannot understand?

How many times in life has something looked like a disaster or wrong and then something completely unexpected and positive was the outcome?

The things we cling to and the beliefs we have are often the very things that are in the way of us receiving the next evolutionary pulse in life. Watch and release, breathe and surrender as life clears the field for your “next”.

Your higher essence is guiding you always. Your goal is to become that which you already are. The challenge is to get the mind out of the way so you can recognize that your higher essence is guiding you, All Ways.

If there is a “should” or a “have-to” label on things in your life, I encourage you to dive deep into your being and see if it’s actually true. If it’s a decision you’ve made and you are choosing to honor it, take responsibility for it by reminding yourself that it’s a choice. When you choose, rather than should on yourself, the energy becomes much lighter which permeates the situation too.

Whatever you do, do it all the way. Even if your choice is to not do anything, be all the way in. Life will redirect you in perfect timing if redirection is needed.

We’ve been designed by the conditioned world to be achievers. Unplug from that program and see what your higher essence has for you. While listening to the programmed mind, you have no access to your inner design, your natural and organic goal…the one that comes from your authentic self.

You are already perfect. There is nothing else to know in order to be a better you, only to remove all the hindrances from the path to you.

When the mind chants, “No, no, no!” Chant in response, “To be in flow, I let it all go.” Feel the stirrings in your body as the mind dissolves and watch to see what’s been there all along as it rises to the surface of your awareness.

I like the way Neale Donald Walsch rewrote the word remember…

Re-Member, you are an unfathomable, precious and vibrant channel of the divine. How awesome is that?

Much Love and Blessings to You,
shellee rae

“Challenging situations create the force needed to bring about change. The problem is that we generally use up all the stirred up energy intended to bring about change, to resist change.”
~ Michael Singer

Gathering Witnesses

Dear Blessed One,

Nobody arrives at the ground of Being through thinking. Feeling is the bridge.

Bust out of the conditioned mind; that which has stored innumerable beliefs from the limited human perspective of others. Drop awareness into the body and feel without story. Notice when story comes in and then redirect, redirect, redirect.

Spirit is here in form. It’s not off in some mental realm, a mind-created entity. If you want to know your true essence, be here in the body and feel. Feeling is the door to higher consciousness, which heals piece by piece all the wounds that dampen the connection to Source.

Have you noticed how the mind loves to gather witnesses to justify and validate its suffering? Whether it collects people or thoughts to corroborate the suffering, it builds its case by stacking up all the evidence from the past.

Let it all go. Dance in not knowing. Not knowing is an open door. Wisdom enters from there. Knowing is a closed door. As soon as you “know”, nothing else can come through to offer other possibilities. Stay with the feeling experience and be curious about what it may be healing.

A story… I have a 2006, 21-foot RV. I’m on the road so much I’m considering living in the RV to see if I like it. I had an idea that a bit newer and bigger would probably be better. I found just the one that seemed a fit for me, flew to Ohio ($20,000 less than the same model being offered on the west coast) and drove it 2400 miles home to Oregon.

The whole drive home I felt like the delivery person. As it turns out, it’s not going to work for me. The storage isn’t big enough for all my work items (they fit out of the living space in my smaller RV).

So, what to do? I put the new one up for sale and am keeping the old one. The new RV experience has triggered reactions, healing and expanded awareness for a number of people who work with me.

The mind might have a lot to say about such a thing and it could stimulate fear, shame and perhaps anger or sadness. One friend has gone into great anguish over this while listening to his mind tell him he should have been more available to help me with the process. He may be healing more from the adventure than anyone else!

I see the good in the experience as more continues to unfold for myself and for people close to me. I’m grateful for the things I’ve learned from the experience.

The gentle and loving essence that comes through the body guides me. Ultimately, it’s purpose is to bring me closer to Me.

Life is always carrying me and knows how to get me there.

Wanna buy an RV? ?

Much Love and Blessings to You,
shellee rae

“I am that lost and wandering traveler, who is his own destination. What can I receive from existence? I myself am the ultimate reward of existence.”
~ Ashtavakra

The Bliss of Being

Dear Blessed One,

Many people have been asking me recently how to surrender and what the difference is between surrender and resignation.

Surrender isn’t the same as resignation nor does it mean to take the “whatever” attitude, which still has you trapped in suffering. Surrender doesn’t mean giving up either. It is noticing any internal resistance and letting go of the idea that the resistance is somehow equated with strength or abeyance. Surrender is allowing what’s here to be here. In that resting state, (not fighting with life) new views can come through from your higher essence ~ your authentic self.

As an added benefit, when allowing life’s experiences (life has said yes, you might as well too), rather than flailing around in the mind trying to fix it, feelings can come up to be felt and healing can happen.

There are infinite streams of reality and life has no resistance to any of it; all it wants to do is experience. Life doesn’t mind anything, you are life, existence existencing. Feel it all without the mind’s labeling, judgment, resistance, clinging… Just be life.

Hmm… how to stay in the deep waters of stillness while watching the waves of life? Step back just a little from what you are seeing and move closer to the one who sees. Watch how it all moves organically, freely whether you like it or not.

Notice everything – what you hear, see, feel, and do while not forgetting you are the one who is watching. All of these things you are watching come and go. You, the true you, remain.

Be in your innocence, your individuality, this is your home. The mind is not yours. The mind was given to you through the limited human perspective of others. Examine it. There is so much more to you than the limited, conditioned, programmed self.

Existence is ultimate bliss. Unhappiness is a creation of the mind. This doesn’t mean don’t feel your feelings, it means the bliss of being is always there holding everything. Even in the throes of great challenges, access to the bliss of being is available. Surrender is the door.

Much Love and Blessings to You,
shellee rae

“All happiness comes from awareness. The more we are conscious the deeper the joy. Acceptance of pain, non-resistance, courage and endurance – these open deep and perennial sources of real happiness, true bliss.”
~ Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

Dark Night of the Soul and Kundalini

Dear Blessed One,

Kundalini is the vital energy that we all have within us…our life force. The energy is coiled at the base of the spine waiting (or programmed) to awaken at just the right time. When it awakens, it leads to the union of personal and cosmic consciousness.

Much healing happens in the process as it burns off ego identification. It is usually catalyzed by a personal crisis…mine was. The kundalini awakened in me in 2008.

Prior to the kundalini awakening, my body needed to be prepared. I had no idea that’s what a two-and-a-half-year depression was doing though. In January 2005 I pulled the covers over my head and wanted to die.

I didn’t realize I was healing and in the process of awakening. The beginning of ego dissolution put me in an identity crisis. As I examined, ‘Who am I?’, old wounds came flooding in, beliefs were dissolving and I felt I had nothing solid to stand on. It was a powerful stripping away of identification with the mind-created self, attachments and beliefs.

I began desperately seeking on the outside to find the error and fix what had gone wrong in my life (everything became a potential culprit).

I was feeling alone and didn’t believe anyone understood what I was going through. I lost motivation to do anything and couldn’t find my connection to love, self or divinity.

When you are between who you were and who you are awakening to, that terrain can look extremely bleak. I had not yet landed in the new world and the old one was nowhere to be found!

When in the throes of a chaotic state, remember there’s a beginning, middle and end…you will get through it. It has great purpose, though sometimes it may take a while for clarity to arise.

See if you can find outlets for the powerful energy ripping through you…primal scream, breathe, connect bare feet on the earth, dance, paint, write. Be sure to give yourself a lot of quiet alone time; the body typically aches for solitude as everything is being recalibrated.

Dark night of the soul and kundalini awakening are agents of huge transformation! Allow yourself to dissolve in the cocoon. It can feel like you’re dying. Let yourself die…it’s a dying to the illusory self while awakening to the authentic self.

Awakening is a crazy dance. Notice the space between the steps and remember the song of creation has many melodies. Let go of the mind that is demanding a waltz when a tango is playing. Remember surrender.

You are held and wisdom is guiding the process perfectly. Life constantly dances ecstatically through us.

We’re in a magical time of transformation. Numerous people working with me are having kundalini awakenings, two in the last three weeks via Skype. If you’re looking for support and assistance, I’m happy to be of service to you.

Much Love and Blessings to You,
shellee rae

“…kundalini, has always been symbolized as a serpent. When this creative force is “asleep” in delusion, it flows down and outward and feeds all the senses; uncontrolled, its stinging venom causes insatiable lusts. But when the pure kundalini force is “awakened” by the yogi, it rises to the brain and is transformed into the bliss of Spirit. …the supreme force for human liberation.”
~ Paramahansa Yogananda

The Matrix

Dear Blessed One,

I was talking with someone the other day and she mentioned she was having unrealistic concerns about uncertainty. After we had a little laugh about that I pointed out that all concerns about uncertainty are unrealistic.

Who do you think is controlling this life? The mind of many would answer, “Me.” Every instant, whatever you are doing you are not doing it. Once you’re able to see this you can relax and realize there is no reason to worry about what to do or what not to do. Neither accepting nor rejecting anything – not fighting with life, just being.

The river is flowing and it knows how to get to the sea. Life is life-ing and it knows the end from the beginning. If you knew the whole story, there would be no place for this experience of form, game over.

Life is not yours to control. This can be scary to the mind – the entity you may believe is you – though once the mind is surrendered we move in a much more spacious state.

Watch with curiosity. Step back from the self that you think you are. Watch yourself as you would a character in a drama on stage.

Don’t believe you’re not in charge, experience it. Explore where you think you are in charge. See if it’s true.

When the noise of the mind is getting louder, it’s a good sign. It means the mind is noticing you are no longer listening to it (or believing it) like you used to. Keep reassuring the scared ego that it is fine. Tell the ego it’s not going to die and that the two of you are just recalibrating your relationship.

Once you experience freedom from the barrage of thoughts, there is a softer guidance mechanism that points the way. In that state, you respond to life and all its undulations, rather than reacting.

Stay awake, as best you can anyway. When you become aware that you’re listening to the mind and going on a mental ride, in that moment, make another choice. Become aware of your body, your heart, your feelings, contraction, physical pain, anything other than the babble in the head.

Many are asking about the restlessness they’re feeling, it’s a symptom of inner stirring, of movement. It just means something is wanting awareness. It’s the body’s way of saying, “Please slow down and check in with me.”

New inspiration, brilliance and clear seeing comes through resting with whatever is being presented to you in any given moment. Remember to breathe. Give yourself a 5-minute timeout to release some energy if need-be and then come back to resting. See what life is wanting you to more deeply know about yourself in that particular circumstance. Don’t listen to what the mind is telling you about the situation. Listen deeply, from your being.

There’s a scene in The Matrix where Trinity asks for a pilot program for a helicopter. In that moment the program is downloaded to her and she’s able to fly the thing that seconds ago she had no idea about.

Downloads are always coming in, showing the way, guiding us to the next move in life. When the hardwire to the mind is cut, we’re able to hear the higher self – to receive the download – the wisdom that is in alignment with our authentic self.

Much Love and Blessings to You,
shellee rae

“But, when no idea arises, the right ideas come. That is the true idea. If things are quiet and one is quite firm, the release of Heaven suddenly moves. Is this not a movement without purpose? Action in inaction has the same meaning.”
~ Secret of the Golden Flower translated by Walter Picca