Into The Heart Of Addiction
Dear Blessed One,
Do you ever sense a stirring or a restlessness, a longing or a hunger with seemingly nothing wrong in your life? Sometimes it may show up as a gnawing in the pit of your stomach or irritability. It’s that thing that most people have great difficulty just being with. The usual reaction to that restlessness is a reaching out of oneself for the thing or things that make us feel better or distract us from it.
I’ve had many things in my past; alcohol, drugs, sugar, TV, spiritual paths – to name just a few. That reaching out of oneself in an attempt to satiate an inner hunger can show up in many ways.
The answer is not on the outside. I’ve heard it said, “Go within or go without.” All those things I was reaching for were like throwing pebbles into an abyss. Nothing was landing. Nothing was getting resolved. As time moved on, the restlessness was actually getting bigger! I’ve seen that longing drive some people to the brink of madness.
In 12-step programs, I’ve heard the stirring described as a God-sized hole in the soul. Something clicked for me the first time I heard that. “Of course,” I thought, it’s God-within whispering to me to come home, and since I was far from home (or so it seemed) this finite human form was unconsciously (and sometimes desperately) looking for relief in many ways.
I wasn’t taught to sit quietly and drop into my body, to feel the feeling of longing, stirring, or inner aching. I didn’t know that to locate the feeling in my body and just be with it would allow integration of old wounds to take place. I wasn’t told to jump into the heart of addiction and to fully feel that restlessness without reaching out for something to relieve it.
Addiction shows up in many way; gambling, compulsive cleaning, shopping, the list goes on and on. Recognize that what you’re wanting for is right here – whispering from the center of your own being.
It’s all just a longing to remember home.
Much Love and Blessings to You,
shellee
“Be still and know that I am God.”
~Psalm 46:10