Park at The Top
Dear Blessed One,
After taking a brief sabbatical from writing the monthly Awakening Tips, I’m feeling guided to share the recent shift and lessons I’ve experienced.
Many of you know I was on an extended journey in my RV. I planned to travel and work on the road for six months, keeping awareness keen as I journeyed, wondering if another area might call to me as a new home.
The trip was filled with work, friends, laughter, sadness, surprises, wild weather and expansion.
The work was abundant, rich, deep and productive. I have a wellspring of gratitude for the opportunity to meet and work with so many amazing beings!
Connecting, sharing and laughing with friends was balm to the soggy self as the rain seemed never-ending and the news of two friends and of a client’s passing pierced my heart.
And I learned a deeper lesson about listening and responding to inner guidance, which assisted in a smooth transition home months later.
I was traveling up to Cupertino, CA from SoCal and had been driving for many hours. It was late and raining as I drove the RV up the long-winding driveway. Internally I heard a whisper, “Park at the top.” Immediately I brushed it aside saying, ‘that’s ridiculous, I know how to park here, the cars are probably plugged in at the top, the levelers are already out, everything I need is here, I know how to do it here and I’m tired.’
I parked as I have always done so in the past. The next morning I’d completely forgotten the gentle guidance I received the night before. Days later as the stormy weather continued, a tree fell on my RV just seconds before my entering it – it could’ve been me. A $7000 lesson (it was covered) in listening, no matter how tired I am, is what I received – not to mention the big hit to the new RV.
After getting the RV back from repair, I continued following the ever-unfolding journey to see where life called me next.
In San Diego, I began to wonder if my new title might be the rain-witch…it seemed to follow me no matter where I went and no matter how much sunshine was present before my arrival. The torrential rain kept me in the RV (the metal cave) for many days at a time. I knew something was percolating and I was curious what might be coming. And then came the expansion experiences…
I began having experiences of no-boundary between me and other. Lying on the massage table or bed, I couldn’t feel where I ended and the table or bed began, “I” had no end or edge. And I experienced amusement as people talked with me, pretending to be “other” when it was all just Me talking with mySelf.
I had brief experiences like this prior to the kundalini and embodied awakening in 2008. Those experiences faded as I found my way in a new world, where nothing on the outside had changed and the way I related to everything had.
I felt wobbly in this new experience and wondered how I might maneuver in a state like this. I was curious while in eye-contact conversation with people if they could see through my eyes how strange it was talking to myself and pretending to be “other”.
Like with all of life’s undulations, I was present with it, breathed through the wobbliness and was able to function relatively well as the intensity of the experiences came and went. I did take some downtime (as guided) to allow space for the frequency shift, not knowing at all what was ultimately going to happen.
The most intense part of the experiences lasted for two months. Recently I’m feeling more grounded in the shift and better adjusted to the softening of the seeming boundaries between me and that.
And finally, I was ready to go home… I had someone subletting my space for the full six months. I made a comment to a friend that it would be nice if the sublet found her long-term home and my space opened up before the six months mark. She did and it did.
I headed for home once she cleared out and after a few inner tugs to reschedule something down south (park at the top!) many pieces fell into place allowing me to stay home rather than travel again in two weeks to complete commitments (and as an added bonus, I saved $100s by listening).
What is your inner guidance telling you? What do you know deep within that you feel called to do, yet fear holds you hostage? How often do you override the knowingness and then say, “I knew it!”? Breathe into the fear. Tell the mind you’ll be okay. Stay in the moment and just do the next thing.
Life is gently showing us the way home. Bumps and potholes are there to guide us back to center. Honor it all.
When questioning your inner wisdom, remember, “Park at the top.”
Much Love and Blessings to You,
shellee rae
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls.”
~ Joseph Campbell